short breather
I like smoking cloves at 11 by the woody woo fountain. It's a really great end to a weekend, usually uneventful, yet rushed because of all the work. I don't usually smoke, but I make an exception for cloves because they're my favorite. And no, I don't do it alone; it's with my closest friends (and we welcome whomever wishes to join us).I have this obsession of collecting things, and the object changes by the week. This week, I really want to buy French poetry books. Translated, of course. It probably won't happen because I rarely have the motivation to walk to Nassau, much less navigate my way around Micawber. Did you know I've only been inside Firestone like....3 times? I hate libraries. I always feel so suffocated.
Side note:
jen: lol mom wrote down these locations in the city on an index card
jen: and she wrote
jen: "saks 5th avenue" - 5th avenue (location)
Isn't my mom just adorable?? My sister is sleeping over on Thursday night, and we're heading to the city on Friday. Miraculously, it's not supposed to rain; instead, it's going to be about 65 degrees...perfect! I can't believe my dad carted around all that food for me on Sunday. It must've been really heavy--all those pastries and rice balls--lugging them from Flushing then around Manhattan. Friday's going to be a little lighter: maybe a quick lunch on Korean street, hit up Macy's flower show, Whitney, Moma, then random places for shopping (shhh don't tell Karl).
One of my fondest memories of NY is when I snuck onto a science trip sophomore year of high school. It was headed off to the Museum of Natural History, and even to this day I have no idea how I'd pulled it off. My friends and I ditched it, of course, and for the first time ever, I was allowed to wander around NY without parental supervision. Now, as a 15-year old, that's HUGE. We got lost in Central Park on our way back from FAO Schwarz, but made it back in time for the bus.
It's funny, though, how I feel as if I need supervision now more than ever. I don't know how to navigate the subways and I know it. I could potentially get mugged and I know it. Sometimes I wish I could be reckless again and do all those things I said I'd do. My high school self would be so disappointed of what she turned into. But life for me now is just so smooth, and it's weird! I mean, don't we always question perfection? Or anything close to perfection? I'm healthy and happy and doing well in school and maintaining a good relationship with my friends and family. I'm blessed beyond belief, and I have no idea why.
Still, there are still a few things I need to admit to myself:
1. I'm scared of travelling. It's a security issue.
2. I won't be happier with short hair. It always flips out and I know it.
3. I get bored too easily. When I'm bored, I tend to spend money. Which leads to materialism, but in all honesty, I'm totally aware that money can't buy happiness.
What money does, is it buys time. If time equals money, then it works the other way around too. Money can't make a couple stop fighting, but a nice gift could give them a chance to cool off and forgive. Money can't secure loyalty, but it can make your friends remember your generosity and lead to reciprocation. It's not a solution, but it's an important element, like a time-out or distraction. For me, money is a reminder that I need to work harder, to temporarily replace abstract goals with concrete and, yes, materialistic ones. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but it's what keeps me going. It's why Samantha bought a Birkin to prove that she's "made it" (even though Lucy Liu took it in the end). Birkins aren't even that pretty, but I don't think they were ever meant to be.
posted by Tiffany @ 11:40 PM
1 Comments:
the last paragraph sounds like the end of nunokawa lecture
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