the obvious for the (visually) oblivious
"The moon is no door. It is a face in its own right,White as a knuckle and terribly upset"
--Sylvia Plath
It's lines like these that tempt me into pretending I'm blind. I'd take the hand of a 4-year old girl, and she'd lead me around, describing everything she sees in the commonest of languages. It's so simple: white as a knuckle. And yet I never would've thought of that, and if I did, I would've used it wrong and made it seem trite.
I like that I have a lot of time for thinking now, and also for making significantly harder quizzes for my students. No matter, because I have to read every book that each student decides to do for "free reading." To avoid having to scramble and fly through book after book, I've been convincing them to choose between Count of Monte Cristo (a favorite amongst the boys), Dracula, or anything Austen (for the girls).
At noon tomorrow, I'll be doing hair and makeup for one of my students for her 8th grade prom. It makes me feel kinda warm inside, knowing that not only do I help her in writing, but I also can help her feel good about herself all prettied up. Maybe one day I'll take formal classes and be a salon-person on the side. Which would be on the side of being a pastry chef. Which is on the side of being a superhero by night.
Anyway, hooray for the end of the schoolyear!! Two more to go, and the real challenges are right around the corner. I really wish I didn't care so much about grades, but at the same time, I know that this anxiety is what's keeping my grades afloat. It's just...sometimes I really hate myself. Like serious hate, not just staring into the mirror and being annoyed at a bad hair day. I mean...can't live with myself hate. And these are the moments when I realize I'm stressing over something entirely insignificant, and I should be spending that time thanking God for everything He's blessed me with. I'm the luckiest girl alive, and a part of me truly believes that.
I went to Sally's Beauty Supplies today and bought darker hair dye. It didn't really work; my hair's still just as light, but less orange/red. It's more a cool brown now, maybe a bit auburn. My sister's planning on cutting her hair short and dyeing it blue, and my mom isn't against it!! I remember when I wanted dramatic changes like these back in high school...answer was always no. I think my mom realizes that because I turned out ok, and Jen is a lot more studious than I'll ever be, that she'll be better than fine in the end.
There's so much food at home, and in a few days, I'll probably gain back all that weight I lost from 2 weeks of starvation. Time to go to Bally's with my mom and work off that gut. If I want to go to Florida this summer, I'll have to be able to walk around in the bathing suit without people shuddering and pointing at my badonkadonk.
posted by Tiffany @ 1:07 AM
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