im sore and achey
Yesterday, I played in my first softball game...and scored! Except now, my body's completely sore because I'm completely out of shape. I played with Karl and his co-workers, so I'm glad I didn't embarrass him too badly.
It's been so hard for me to read a book this summer. The only things I've read so far are these: two issues of eF, two issues of In Style, half of Shopaholic and Sister, and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. The last two are books, but I would hardly call them great works of literature. I love Victorian novels to death, but trying to get through Mansfield Park while it's bright and gorgeous outside is about as impossible as walking to and from class in 4-inch heels (I've tried and had to make a pit stop back at the dorm because the campus is uneven and stoney).
Oh! I also took the practice GRE test and got an 800 both times on the math portion. I'm a bit ashamed of my verbal score, but there are just too many vocabulary words to memorize. I keep getting "pernicious," "impecunious," and "penurious" mixed up. I've even started making retarded sentences: Sally the student was solicitous in science class.
I think part of me wouldn't mind going into education, but just after a summer of nonstop teaching, I've realized that I'd get bored of it eventually. Sure, the kids are great, but I always feel so limited. There's a set amount of material that needs to be taught, and I don't have a choice but to teach it. I suppose it's the same way with any job, but I'd like at least a little more creativity.
I need to make a resume at some point, but I have no idea how to get started. There also isn't very much for me to put on there because I'm too lazy to go out and intern. Instead, I do what I like: teach, make money, splurge. I know I can't live my entire life this way, but I still feel like it's too early to get myself caught up in a "real job." That'll mean I've grown up, and that's completely unacceptable.
more new finds
1. Grey's Anatomy CLOTHING:
Plain, yes, but still really cool how you can buy what they wear online. Weird how Alex wears a lot of Juicy Couture considering he's supposed to be the "bad boy." You can't be bad in Juicy. Still no luck in finding the rose-colored dress Izzie wore to prom though.
2. Betsey Johnson:
Seriously makes the cutest things in the world. I'm planninng on stocking up on their accessories. I mean, I love their dresses, but it's too hard to find a chance to wear them on campus. Today, I bought a denim tote with a sequined rose, lace and metal bordering, and soft brown leather straps.
3. Ice cream sundaes:
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream; marshmallows; gummy bears; chopped up strawberries; and chocolate syrup. It's just another thing that's worth being fat for.
4. Accessories from Nordstroms:
If you go to the teen's section of Nordstroms, you'll realize that there's an entire accessories corner with reasonably priced belts and necklaces and such. They're not quality materials, but accessories aren't meant to last that long unless you're planning on vintage-ing. My eF magazine came today, and there was a piece on "Belts: Before and After." It's almost shocking how much they can pull together than outfit, but I can still never find exactly the kinds I'm looking for.
I promise I'll say something a bit more meaningful for the next entry. It's just I've been really busy, and the only spare time I've had, I've been using on shopping and studying for GREs. I've also been reading more magazines than books, which is sooooooo bad for the coming semester when I'm swamped with a million and a half books per week. I'm looking forward to being on campus again...been craving those Olive's almond cookies =D
something something...dead door?
There're only two real things to do during the summer: work, then shop. In fact, I'm pretty much convinced that I only work to shop.
New things I love:
1. HOT ROLLERS: omg...why did I never try these before? After Karl bought them for me (because he's the best), I tried them out and they're so easy to use. It's like...curling for dummies. Wait, no. That's the sport.
2. Belts: see, I'm trying to "accessorize" more instead of focusing on the basic items. A few days ago, I was so tempted to burn every polo I own because I feel I'm getting too preppy. And that's unacceptable. Unacceptable! Belts make outfits look really "put together" and it really does slim down the waist.
3. Eyelash curlers: which I finally learned how to use. Apparently, you're supposed to curl it at the very base of the eyelash, not in the middle. I'm still wondering whether it's worth it to get a Shu Uemura one or to stick with the one I have. Theoretically, they should work the same.
4. Blue liquid eyeliner: sooooooooooo cool. Seriously, go out and try it for yourselves. Instead of using eyeshadow, use just a colored eyeliner. It brightens the eye without looking too heavy like shadows sometimes do (Pat: the green-eyed monster).
5. Breakfast: and I mean the whole deal--eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns w/ ketchup, etc. Thing is, I can never eat breakfast in the morning and always feel silly eating it for lunch or dinner. But speaking of food...
6. Makedas: for all you Jerseyans...venture to downtown New Brunswick and get yourself some bangin' Ethiopian food. I always get the vegetarian dishes because they prepare their veggies really really well. My fave: pureed yellow beans and spiced mixed vegetables. Thing is, I don't think their food would taste half as good if we were forced to use utensils. There's just something really yummy about eating with your hands. Try it, if you don't believe me.
good to be a gangsta
"The student has surpassed the teacher."
Okay, so I thought that responding "hell, no" to being asked out was cold. Apparently, my sister reached pure freezing.
Guy: confesses love etc etc
Jen: ...
Jen: yeah, let's forget this ever happened. k? ::leaves::
My proudest moment. EVER.
Oh, and...they're still friends. How cool is that?
something-aholic
My new addictions:
1. John Frieda hair glaze--it's surprisingly easy to use (just apply after conditioning and let sit for 3 minutes), and it leaves your hair really shiny and silky. Today, I learned that lighter hair appears duller than darker hair because it reflects less light. Makes me want to go dark brown again.
2. MAC fluidline in Haunting--supposed to be a eyeliner, but I found that it works even better as a cream eyeshadow. It has more shimmer than most eyeshadows and doesn't crease like most creams. It also works as a nice liner under the eyes.
3. BCBG--in general, probably one of my favorite designers recently. Supposedly, it's supposed to be some kind of France-in-America type of thing, which is nice and all; still, the reason why I like it is because it's not really preppy or business-y or boho chic. It's just pretty, that's all.
4. Free underwear!!--so after receiving a VS Pink coupon for free panties in the mail, I opened up the newest issue of In Style and found that they had another one! I'm tempted to go back to the store and rip out all of them, go up to the register, and come back with a case. Wish me luck!
5. Finding out different ways to go blonde--supposedly, the most commonly used way for natural blondeness is to slowly increase the number of blonde highlights in your hair. I think dark hair looks nicer long, and blonde nicer short. I think it's because after dyeing, hair gets to be a bit dry, and it's more noticeable if its below shoulder-length.
6. My adorable adorable students who write stories in which almost every character is named "Bob," "King Bob," "Elephant Bob," and "Paris Hilton Bob."
the fig tree
For writing class, I teach my kids that essays and stories aren't the same as pictures. If you see something beautiful, you can pull out a snazzy new digital camera and take the picture. Then, you can post it online so that everyone can see. As always, they nod their heads politely and wait for me to tell them something they don't already know (my kids are smart, you see).
Then, I tell them that sometimes adjectives aren't enough. Is the blue dress just blue, light blue, dark blue, or is it blue as ink or sapphires or the faded sweatshirt you used to love? Would the words "white," "cold," and "round," be enough to describe a snowman to a martian? Don't think so. I think the best I got was "like three asteroids piled on top of each other, then covered with white stardust." This is how they learn about similes and metaphors.
The lesson always ends the same way: I give them a piece of paper and ask them to draw the image I tell them. I say, "Draw me a tree, one with nice broad leaves. It's next to a house that's not too big, just a regular house that's snug and comfortable. In the tree, there's an owl" (which elicits the usual response: "how do you draw an owl?").
Just for a second, imagine that big tree with the owl, next to the not-too-large cozy house.
While they're drawing away, I'm making my own version of the picture to see how close ours turn out in the end. They always draw the same picture: an abstract house with a triangle for the roof, a few windows, door. There'd be some cat or rat-looking bird animal perched on a branch. The tree almost always looks like a cream puff standing on stilts meant to represent the trunk. Sometimes the tree would be to the left of the house, or to the right, some trees bigger than others, and some houses with a garden out front. But in the end, it's all the same.
There's a second half to this lesson, but it's not my place to teach it. Sometimes, I feel so tempted to blurt out that this activity has nothing to do with writing at all--it's things we say to each other. The everyday things: "I love you"...those three words are the owl, the tree, and the house. When I say those words, or when he says them to me, I imagine that we are seeing the same trees and gardens and cars out in the driveway, morning kisses and late-night movies. And our pictures would match, like the curtain panels some kids manage to add.
Still, in the end, the assignment is just three items. Though I've collected more than a dozen of these pictures, and each unique and dear to my heart, they all turn out looking the same. So when I take out my drawing, and I show them to the kids, some laugh with surprise, others squint and stare, but it always manages to catch them offguard.
And I say, "Well, what's the difference between what I see and what you see?"
"You're already inside, looking out at the owl and the tree."
And that would be the end of the lesson, preceded by some comment about the importance of explanation. Still, as most people know, there are some things that go beyond words, where pictures and explanations fall pale and linger awkwardly on the balls of their heels. It's what makes me clutch at the edge of my pathetic little drawing till the edges form grooves against my fingertips.
I want him inside with me. Sometimes, I imagine that lonely little figure that must be in that house I've drawn, looking out and wondering where the owl will fly to next, or how it must sound when the leaves crinkle to the ground. I don't know if we're seeing the same things, or if the word "love" means the same, because there aren't enough adjectives or similes to express what they really mean. I don't know if he can love me the way I want to be loved, but I need to keep on hoping and staring out through those crooked felt-marker windows, and maybe one day I'll feel that familiar palm on my shoulder, and some new bird will have begun to perch.
