wonderland
English precept got me thinking about how much I disliked adults as a child. For one, they didn't speak my language--how else would we communicate about things like the edges of fall-papered leaves and why I bother to bring them home? Or how about why it's so exciting to build a new variation of a Legos house that you'd never thought of before?Sometimes I wonder exactly where my childhood ended and the mess began. So far, I've narrowed it down to a few possible points. Complicated, oh-so-traumatic points that only a therapist would bother figuring out after I paid the bill. Let's not get into this.
Luckily, I've had the chance to vicariously stay connected to my inner child. Every week, I assign the kids I tutor some writing prompt that helps them think and write without restrictions. No, you don't have to show them to me. Yes, it can be completely made up. But that's the thing about kids--they do want to share, and even get mad when I forget to set aside a 10 minute slot for them to read their journal entries to the class (this was over the summer, I only tutor privately now = 3 students a time or less). They come up with the most creative things for writing prompts though; some create new technology and use fancy lingo that even I don't understand, some tap into a sad childish emotion that wrenches my heart and makes me want to curl into a corner, and others don't mean to be funny but leave me clutching my gut and going "ha! if only he knew what this could really mean..."
Still, childhood isn't all it's made out to be. There's this movie called "After Life" that Jenny brought over (we watched a few minutes then tossed it) which had the premise of "if you could take only one memory with you and relive it forever in the afterlife, which would it be?" Some of them chose childhood, and it's understandable, because of the innocence and the curiosity and unaccountability for everything.
Even so, I can't remember truly being happy as a child. But does that mean that happiness is something that you can only recall before a certain age? Exactly how strongly can we remember emotions?
When was the last time I felt happier than I am now?
posted by Tiffany @ 11:42 PM
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