strange allergies
So I have this dilemma: I'm really lazy when it comes to picture-taking, and I'm actually worried now that I won't have enough pictures of myself to look back on when I'm old. I'm serious, guys--this is a HUGE problem.When I went back to Taiwan in middle school, I visited my mom's family. Next to the tv in the living room were stacks and stacks of the biggest albums I've ever seen in my life. Like, tomes.
Me: Wow. You guys must take a lot of pictures!
Grandma: No, those are ALL of your mother. Those are HERS.
I didn't really believe her at first, but as I flipped through each one, I realized it was true. The albums spanned only about 5-10 years, from college to her working days. And she looked good. So I'm thinking: hmm...I look pretty good too now (don't laugh), so should I put more effort into self-absorption? It just takes so much trouble though; in fact, even though I spend a lot of time with Karl, I rarely ask him to pause in the middle of a great moment just to take a picture. We've been to a lot of great places too, but we don't really have any pictures to look back on.
Theory: this will not be a huge problem so long as I keep a circle of close friends. Milan Kundera said in, I think, Identity that friends are like mirrors that constantly refresh your memories. You keep memories alive through conversation and reliving those moments. My dad doesn't really have any pictures of himself as a boy, but he seems perfectly content. I know looks are deceiving, but I'd love to grow up and not need pictures to comfort myself, you know? I doubt that'll happen, and maybe I'll end up with a collection that's larger than my mother's. Not likely, but certainly possible.
Oh! and I almost forgot about explaining the title of the entry. I think I'm allergic to shopping now. The last two times I was at the mall, I literally fleed from it. There's definitely something wrong with me. What's it called?--anhedonistic? Something like that. But it's not like I don't get pleasure from anything in life, just the thing that used to calm and comfort me through tough times.
I am also allergic to revising poetry. It's the most godawful thing ever. EVER. Basically, it's admitting that the poem you originally loved is actually a piece of shit that needs to be torn to pieces. Then round 2: admit it's shit, revise. Round 3: you get the point. I don't know why I'm still in the creative writing department since I'm already pretty drained of ideas. I guess it's because I'm afraid I'll leave and never have the desire to come back. I'm like that with a lot of things, so I shouldn't ever say that I like change because it's not true.
posted by Tiffany @ 12:26 AM
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